A man in a car pulls up next to a pedestrian. “Excuse me but can you give me directions to Norwich?”
“Ah!” replies the pedestrian. “Well I wouldn’t start from here.”
We can often find ourselves starting from the wrong point, either because we don’t know where we are, because we think we know where we are but are mistaken, or because we have multiple options and find ourselves doing things in the wrong order. The last of these is a common theme among the thinkers of today.
Simon Sinek stresses the importance of order in his now famous TED talk, “How great leaders inspire action.” Mr Sinek speaks to the way companies focus on what they are doing, e.g. building computers; they then let you know how they are doing this, e.g. by prioritizing quality; and many of them get that far but neglect to let you know why they are doing it.
Why is important. (Ask any five year old – it seems to be the only question they know), but if you change the order entirely you change the attention you give each component. Mr Sinek goes on to explain how why resonates with us more than what. If you begin with why, you can then explain how, and the what can almost be added as the afterthought. Tony Robbins makes a similar observation when he notes our temptation to focus on our strategy before we have put ourselves into the right state. I find myself facing a situation right now, and it might be resolved by changing the order of things.
Many of us have navigated this time of covid and said to ourselves we need to insulate ourselves from such a massive shock, that we want more control over our lives, that we want to be less at mercy of employers. Ultimately we want to feel safe and in control of our destiny, and we want to be sure those we care for are similarly safe. In considering our options we may look at what we love doing – writing, yoga, bakery, looking after animals – and imagine how we can make a side hustle, and sometimes even a career out of this. But is this the correct way to begin? Are we doing things in the wrong order?
There is a Venn diagram widely shared on the internet (and inspiring many a book) of three overlapping circles: passion, talent and opportunity. I think of them as three intersecting doughnuts, because then I can eat them. (I like doughnuts.) At the intersection of these three circles lies your purpose. Finding your purpose sounds so easy, but how many of us have truly done that? Is it important which circle you begin with?
Over the years I have made the mistake of beginning with what I need, what I want, or what I like: I need to develop a supplementary income stream, but doing what? I have no idea. I want to run my own business, but doing what? I have no idea. I would like to be a coach, but coaching what, and coaching who? I have no idea. Am I doing things in the wrong order? It’s tempting to begin with ourselves because that is who we commonly think of first. It’s a harsh statement but a fair one.
Those with the greatest drive are motivated by doing things not for themselves but for others, whether it be frail parents, a vulnerable child, or their entire nation. Maybe your order of considerations should be: find someone to help, then establish what they need (opportunity). Once that is established, consider your array of skills (talent), and then assess which of these is best for their need; when assessing your skills allow for those which fill you with the most energy (passion).
If the first step is finding the people to help, how do you go about that when it’s not obvious to you? The simple answer is to choose. We have so many options. They might be people like us: a single parent, a university graduate, or a retiree. They could be the sort of people we just tend to know: introverts, wine aficionados, animal lovers. One of these will resonate more than the others. But then what kind of help do these people need?
Ask them!
I’m sharing these thoughts as they occur to me. Over the coming weeks I intend to put them into action, but don’t wait for me. Experiment! I know that whenever I have felt stuck in the past I have gained a newfound sense of energy and momentum when I switch the seemingly natural order of events.
I began this post with an attempt at humor, and I want to end with one as well. Apparently you can still play a tune well, even if you’re rubbish – you just need to think of yourself playing the notes in the wrong order.
