Loss Leader

Years ago, I had an interview at Arthur Andersen. I’m convinced it was my response to one specific question that resulted in my failure to land the job. I was asked, “describe your role as a leader.” I think the interviewer was looking for a take-charge, gung-ho response. I still recall her sour expression when I said, “if a team is being led well then I’ll support that leader, but if that’s not happening, I’d need to step in.” I could see she was underwhelmed with what must have seemed a very passive response. I didn’t get the job,  but I did receive something far more valuable –  clarity.

This day I see a gap in leadership. It’s hard for me to get past the lack of ethics that have been on display. They have not only been disregarded, they have been trampled. If I were to have a daughter whose crotch was groped by an old, wealthy, stranger, would I give any support to that stranger? Would it be any different if this were not my daughter but someone else’s ?  And how much would I dial back on my emotions if that stranger ‘only’ bragged about groping, but where I had no evidence that it had taken place. Would I say, “it’s ok as long as our taxes are lower”? Or what if this was the person who you felt could finally put a roof over your head… for your family? Where is the line, because we all have our ethical lines and most of us know that ethics is not a binary world. It can be hard to hold to them sometimes. But we should try, and this day I don’t see enough trying, and I don’t see enough contrition when we fail. 

This day I see a gap in leadership. A leader is someone from whom we can draw inspiration; they set an example. Curiously, and disturbingly, I am inspired. I see that you need to connect with people’s hearts.  I hear the value in a simple message. I appreciate that with supreme focus and dedication, you can achieve your goals, even if others deem you unqualified. I’m impressed when a person holds their course, regardless of what others might think. And then there is the hard work… a LOT of hard work. 

I also see how to win. I see that winning is easier when your mindset is simply to “take the hill” while your competitor is also burdening themselves with how to hold it afterwards; the salesman promises, and then worries about delivery later.

These lessons – I’d go so far as to call them ‘positives’ – are insufficient, for me at least. They are not nearly enough because I can’t justify away those things that are important. We want to point to a leader when we speak to children and say, “That is a role model for you: be kind, be honest, study hard, don’t be a bully…”

Today is the day I stop being so passive. I realise now that I’ve been neglecting my responsibilities as a leader.  I will go slower than I’d like to begin with because I’m using muscles I’ve shamefully allowed to atrophy. Please be kind and please feel free to join me, because if I see someone else doing a good job, I’ll support them. But this day there is a gap in leadership, and it’s not going to fill itself. 

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paolo duffini Written by:

An ocean loving, tea drinking nomad currently living in the USA. I believe in the power of curiosity to elevate humans above their basic wiring. Discovery begins wherever you want it to begin, but it aways needs an open mind, and the willingness to admit that what we think we know might not be the whole story.